The Grimm Conclusion

Once upon a time, fairy tales were grim. Cinderella's stepsisters got their eyes pecked out by birds. Rumpelstiltskin ripped himself in half. And in a tale called "The Mouse, the Bird, and the Sausage," a mouse, a bird, and a sausage all talk to each other. Yes, the sausage talks. (Okay, I guess that one's not that grim...) Those are the real fairy tales. But they have nothing on the story I'm about to tell.